you and me and all of the people
by GeekintheJeep
Summary: Kurt Hummel is single when he leaves for spring break. He's in a relationship five days later. He's engaged two days after that. She'll be shocked if they aren't married by the end of the month. 5.01 reaction fic. Klaine.


**A 5x01 reaction one-shot. Title from "You and Me" by Lifehouse. Also posted to my tumblr (geekinthejeep).  
**

**I'm always open for prompts, so feel free to contact me!**

* * *

Tabitha sends Kurt Hummel a friend request on Facebook on a whim sometime in mid-April. She feels kind of obligated to, honestly, since they're stuck sitting next to each other for an entire semester of Music Theory.

He seems nice enough - a little too standoffish for her taste, personally - from the (very brief) conversations they've had in the few minutes before class starts, his fashion sense is great if not a little out there, and she knows from Midnight Madness that he's got a damn good voice to boot. She's heard classmates refer to him as the Ice Queen, and she can understand the title. But, well, it's better to be his friend than his enemy, right? Connections like this could serve her well once she's on Broadway starring in a production that she wrote and directed herself.

Otherwise, she doesn't know much about him. Some Facebook stalking tells her he's originally from buttfuck middle of nowhere Ohio (aren't they all?), gay (well _duh_), and posts way too many "outfit of the day" pictures to possibly be considered healthy. Seriously. She was lucky if she could splurge on Starbucks coffee, and he had a different pair of Dr Martens for every outfit?

It also says he's single. Which, she supposes, could be true. There had been rumours for a while that he was going out with that senior with the admittedly dreamy British accent who was pretentious enough to name an entire glee club after himself, but she can't actually recall ever seeing them make physical contact. And then the guy had just disappeared, so, whatever. He had been a douche, anyway.

Kurt doesn't post much, "#OotD!"s aside. Random statuses about class, the antics of his roommates, Rachel (who is apparently that annoying chick who got her ass kicked by Kurt at Midnight Madness) and Santana, and a few "Look at the great bargain I just got!" updates that no one beyond "Blaine Anderson" and "Unique Adams" seemed to care about.

* * *

Then spring break happens and buried between post after post from friends off to warmer locales is what seems at the time to be an innocent Kurt status update.

**Kurt Hummel**: Ohio-bound for spring break!

(**Blaine Anderson**, **Burt Hummel**, and 5 others like this)

Tabitha likes his status, because he could probably use the break. She's noticed him wearing blue socks more often this last week of classes and, like, staring intently at the clock at the front of the classroom and tapping his nose and… Well, she was starting to worry he was getting ready to crack. She might judge him for being that kid who actually goes home for spring break rather than living it up for a week somewhere warm, but hey, if that's his thing, good for him.

Besides, anywhere has got to be better than stuck in New York City working over spring break. She likes his status, and promptly forgets about it.

* * *

Kurt updates his status frequently over those next few days, calm, coherently-written posts between pictures of her drunken friends out partying on a beach somewhere. Tabitha doesn't think anything of it beyond a cursory, obligatory read-through of each one.

**Kurt Hummel**: Great day catching up with the family and **Blaine Anderson**!

(**Blaine Anderson** likes this)

**Kurt Hummel**: I am very happy to report that dad received a clean bill of health today!

(**Blaine Anderson**, **Burt Hummel**, and 12 others like this)

**Kurt Hummel**: Off to watch the New Directions kick butt at Regionals! Break a leg, guys!

(**Blaine Anderson**, **Sam Evans**, and 10 others like this)

**Kurt Hummel** was tagged in a post.

** Santana Lopez**: Just watched Lady **Hummel** have an emotional meltdown at Regionals! Everyone say it with me: Aww!

** Kurt Hummel:** I hate you, Satan. (Santana Lopez likes this)

** Santana Lopez**: I love you, too, Kurt!

And on it goes.

* * *

It's the picture that catches her attention a day later during her lunch break, all bright colours and ridiculous smiles.

**Kurt Hummel** is in a relationship with **Blaine Anderson**.

(**Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson**, and 24 others like this.)

** Santana Lopez**: 'Bout time!

** Rachel Berry**: a;efiae;lkfj;ladkf i'm so happy for you both!

** Tina Cohen-Chang**: Hurt my boo and I'll break your face, Hummel.

** Artie Abrams**: Aw damn. You couldn't have waited another day?

** Sam Evans**: pay up, abrams! 20 bucks!

Tabitha is cooing over the picture attached before she knows it; Kurt and another boy, hair overly-gelled into submission, their cheeks pressed together and arms wrapped around each other as they grin at the camera… With an entire marching band (or two?) arrayed behind them on the steps.

She finds herself approving of this Blaine much more than she ever did the idea of fake-hipster British guy. It's… Well, it's cute.

* * *

Two days later, Tabitha has just settled herself on her couch with a box of Chinese takeout and a Bridezillas marathon queuing up while she scrolls through her newsfeed when a status update stops her cold.

The lo mein dribbles out of her mouth while she gawks down at her laptop, the words glaring back up at her:

**Kurt Hummel** is engaged to **Blaine Anderson**.

(**Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson**, and 237 others like this.)

She stares uncomprehendingly at the words for a full two minutes before she shakes her self out of it and scrambles to click on Kurt's page. And there it is, from two days ago, "**Kurt Hummel** is in a relationship with **Blaine Anderson**." She scrolls back up and… "**Kurt Hummel** is engaged to **Blaine Anderson**." She has to scroll back and forth a few times for it to really sink in. And then there's the picture of the two of them, brilliant smiles on their faces and Kurt's hand held up to the camera to show off the white gold band on his ring finger.

…How? What?

Tabitha sets her lo mein down, sits back on her couch, and stares at her laptop while Bridezillas plays forgotten on her TV. Two days. _Two days_. She can't even find herself a boyfriend, and somehow in two days Kurt 'Ice Queen' Hummel has gone from single to dating to engaged. And nothing in the world makes sense anymore. She's not sure if she's more jealous or happy for him at that very moment.

_Damn_.

* * *

The proposal goes viral after being uploaded by an " " three days later, and she finally has to close her laptop when that's the _only_ thing plastered across her newsfeed.

She has to admit, it is kind of adorable and perfect… In a disgustingly sappy way. "_In every lifetime that you and I have ever lived, we have chosen to come back and fall in love again over and over for all eternity__." _Seriously? Who even _says_ that_?_

She meets Blaine Anderson in person two weeks later, on a Friday afternoon in May. She's trying to cross the lobby to get to her last class, but try as she might and no matter how many people she elbows, she just can't shove her way through the crowd that has formed a ring of people around a boy with slicked back hair and a blindingly bright pink bowtie perched on a couch and singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" at the top of his lungs while Kurt Hummel stares back at him with a textbook case of heart eyes.

It's sickeningly adorable, and damned if she doesn't stand there and watch the entire thing… Followed by Kurt's return serenade of "You and Me."

She doesn't make it to her class on time. "Kurt Hummel was being serenaded in the lobby" turns out to be an acceptable excuse.

* * *

Those go viral by the end of the day.

She only watches them five times before resigning herself to the fact that she just can't consider Kurt Hummel her enemy when he and his boyfriend are that fucking sappy and adorable.

She'll be shocked if they haven't eloped by the end of the semester at this rate.


End file.
